So I know I just blogged and Im sure I will blog a lot more before this week is over... but I am bored and I need to get my feelings out. I seriously hate feelings. If I could make myself a robot without emotions I think I would do it! Just when I think I am getting over him I see a couple or hear about someone getting engaged or Danielle talks to Josh, and it hits me just as hard as that moment. "we should just be friends" I swear those are the worst words a guy could EVER say to a girl. Do they not understand that it is a million times harder to be friends than just forget about them? Because then we talk to them but its just as friends, and if you do end up talking its for like a second.... and there is no flirting involved.. and I am just having the hardest time right now. I like Josh and I am glad he could come visit Dan Dan the Man.. but I do not know how I am going to be able to handle this for a whole week plus 2 days. There are other guys here. I know that.. I could have other guys... but I cannot seem to bring myself to want them too:/ I am scared that no one will ever be able to compete with him. GRRRR boys suck! and I hate the feeling I get (that I have right now) where I know any second I am going to break down and sob uncontrollably for a long time... don't appreciate that feeling AT ALL:(
Then I was supposed to go to a lacrosse game tonight with my friends.. both of which happen to be boys. and of course there stupid park soccer thing was more important than going with me. So I was stood up by my own friends. I don't get it. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? why do guys always do this to me? hahaha I want to become a Mormon Nun. is that allowed? cool well even if it's not Im still doing it.
Kay sorry.... that was me venting.. thanks for reading or even skipping past my venting sesh. I just needed to get it out before I cried. hahaha
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