With friends like these.. who needs enemies

wow this week has gone by so ridiculously slow. Well last week, since this is the beginning of a new week. But really.... My work schedule was changed because my boss decided to cut my hours and so I was all thrown off by that and then the kids were just terrible this week, because one of them had an ear infection some of them were sick, and then one of them was taken off bottles and he did not appreciate that, so he cried like all day long, all week. haha It was pretty crazy!

Friday night I was at work till about 9pm because Me, Natrice, and Lindsay needed to put up our bulletin board. well lets just say that we were putting it up.. moving things around.. making things look perfect, and we still only got halfway done. It was absolutely crazy. But I love my children so I stayed and helped. Natalie was closing so she stayed and helped with a lot of stuff. and Mar also stayed (because I was there haha) and she helped a lot too. Its Doctor Suess Month in March and so Our bulletin board is from the book "Oh The Places You Will Go" and we took pictures of all the kids dressed up in different professions. It was soo dang adorable! The parents are going to absolutely love it! and so will all of the kids in the school. I am really going to miss working there. and its not because of the job. cause my boss is cutting my hours and stupid stuff. but Its the kids. (and my co-workers:)) I love my kids. I've only been with them 2 months. But I love them. They make my day with the silly little things that they do. And they are all so different. Its just wonderful! AND two of my kids are starting to take their first steps and walking a little. Its so amazing to be able to see that. I wouldn't trade what I do for anything in the entire world!

This week has been pretty hard on the family. and I dont want to go into a lot of stuff over my blog because I dont want to offened anyone in my family or let the whole entire world know about the difficulties facing my family right now. But there have been some problems arising with my brother and its just finally gotten out of control. and my adopted sister has been reeking havoc on my entire family. There has to be another way. If I could ask.. anyone that is reading this blog. Could you please pray for my family? we really need it!

Oh yesterday I found out that danielle doesn't get her car. Pretty much the most depressing thing I have heard all week. It was the worst way to end a horrible week. So that means I dont get to go out there and visit for a couple days before we would drive to Rexburg. But it's alright. Im still going up the 9th. and she will be there the 10th. So I wont be alone for like a week before school starts:)

ONLY 39 MORE DAYS!!

you're a wishing well

so Im really not sure why I need to blog again. But I was having a deep conversation with my mother tonight and it got me thinking. I have not had an easy life. I know that everyone can say that but lets look at things... we adopted a child with a million and one problems, my brother had cancer when I was 6, my oldest brother died when I was 10, social services has come into my house many a times, my dad was in heart failure my freshman year of high school, my mother was diagnosed with lupis a year or two ago, I had three grandparents die, my youngest older brother was removed from the home, I had a horrible 8th grade year full of horrible mean girls, I was chronically depressed my senior year of high school... Now I dont say this to be negative or to complain or because I want peoples pitty. I say this because THIS is my life. It has made me who I am today. I had to go through things little girls should never have had to go through. But through it all I came out a stronger person.

Now you may ask why I am telling you all this.. well because when me and my mom were discussing life, we talked about lessons I learned in my life because of the hard trials I had to go through. I realized tonight, that I am immensely blessed! I have the gospel in my life!!! I have Jesus Christ. He loves me and He is always there for me. I realized that If these things wouldn't have happened, my life would have turned out so much different then it is now. I have become a stronger person because of it. I have the friends I have because the choices I made about the trials I had. I could have turned away when all of those things happened. but I choose to meet them and learn something from them.

I really have no idea why I am writing all this stuff. But I just feel like I should. Also tonight I found the Alabama CD that we used to listen to all the time when I was growing up. It was one of mine and my sisters favorites. and the last song on the CD is called, "Angles Among Us" I hadn't heard this song in a couple years, and I honestly didn't want to listen to it. It was the one song that could always bring buckets and buckets of water along with it. I could cry myself to sleep listening to this song:) and thats not because its a horrible song. (haha altho they are out there) but because it was the song played at my oldest brothers funeral. I used to dance around to that song when I was a little girl. So I decided that I wanted to listen to it, and that if I cried it would be okay... But I didn't. It was wonderful. I could just sing along (since I know all of the words) and feel peace. I could remember the happy days of my brother and not the thing that makes me miss him more than anyone. I rememeber my brother today for the first time in a long time. and it wasn't as hard or painful as I thought it would be. I miss him so much it still hurts to think about him. But I realized tonight that he is still here with me. He loves me and he will always be with me. I just have to never forget him.

Okay so this has started to get somewhat depressing and Im sorry about that. I never meant to go into any of that on a blog. But I do a very wonderful job of concealing my feelings about this because I dont want to upset my mother. I have to be a big girl for her! anyways..... Tomorrow is monday. which means another week of work. Don't get me wrong.. I absolutely love working at the daycare. I wouldn't trade it for anything else. But it is super exhausting! Guess that's why I get paid what I do. haha. oh and it is now 12:30. dang it. I should have gone to bed like an hour ago. Sorry for the somewhat downer blog. altho Im not sure who even reads my blog anymore... probably no one. which is fine. cause then I get to write down my feelings. Its a wonderful release.

47 MORE DAYS:)

I need you like a heartbeat:)

So another long a crazy week! I worked 39 hours last week. I cannot believe I have a full time job that requires me to work that much. How I will ever do this my whole life is beyond me. haha. But I really do love working at the daycare. I love my children. They do the funniest things. Like tuesday we were giving the kids jelly on bagels. and jimmy wanted more jelly so I went to put some on his bagel and he opened up his mouth cause he wanted me to put it straight into it. it was soo funny! me and natrice were laughing forever. and he just thought it was soo cute. Stuff like that make working that much in a week bearable. I also love how they start to crawl around and then start to walk around holding onto the wall. They grow up soo fast:) but enough about my work.. since Im sure you all wanted to know. haha

Saturday I worked at a dog agility show for 8 hours. and I did not get paid very well but oh well. Its kind of interesting to watch these dogs jump over all these hurdles and jump through rings and just all this stuff. It can get pretty intense too because all the dogs are competing against each other for best time, and for not making any mistakes. so some of them go super fast. The fastest time was 35.49 It was pretty cool to watch. I was leash runner. which basically means I take the leash from the owner and walk it all the way over to the end. I was standing/walking for 6 hours straight. needless to say I came home and took a pretty long nap!

Today it snowed and so I was late to church, as was ashley and so we just sat outside the sacrament meeting because we didn't want to have people giving us weird looks. haha. and we ended up talking about things. which I really needed someone to talk to about. It was amazing because it's like she knew exactly what I meant and what I needed to hear. I haven't had that happen to me since school. I am so grateful to her for being there and listening to me, even tho I can sometimes go on and on about things that aren't necessarily going great in my life. and because she's been through it she understands. We have so much fun! In fact we got in trouble during sunday school for talking so much:) We are going to hang out this tuesday, and I am really excited! She makes being home with no one possible!! So thanks Ashley:)

Danielle is in rexburg right now.. and I miss her so much. I know that I still would miss her if she was in CA but almost everyone I love is in rexburg without me, and it makes me a little sad. But I need to be here to work, or at least thats what I keep telling myself! I also miss her because I haven't really talked to her as much since she has been up there.. and it shouldn't be a big deal because we aren't "dating" or anything(hahaha yes I said it) but she honestly has a piece of me. She is like my twin sister or something, and so its hard not to talk to her all the time. But she is with josh, and she doesn't need to be texting me all the time. I just need to be a big girl! but anyways. I love you all tons! I hope you are all having a super duper fun singles awareness day:)

ONLY 53 MORE DAYS!

so gangsta im so thug

wow.... I cannot believe it is already saturday. I worked 38 hours this week. I cannot believe it. I am more tired than I have been in a very long time. But I absolutely loved working full time! Its fun to be there all day with the kids so that I can see all the funny things they do in the morning. I got to work in my room once, the toddler room twice, the younger baby room once, and then the 3 year old room. It was definitely different going from my classroom with the 9 month olds to the 3 year olds who talk and dont listen and hahaha oh soo fun.

Mary started working at primrose and so she works in the toddler classroom, which is the classroom one up from mine.. so she is going to get my kids when they move up. so at least I will be able to go see them and not have to worry about the closer getting mad at me. but anyways... my kids are soo funny. They laugh and scream all the time. and its so fun just to watch them grow. I am loving working with the younger kids. they make me laugh with everything they do. yesterday Ian was blowing kisses and making the muwa sound. hahaha it was adorable, and he blew kisses to every single person that walked into the room. I went into the toddler room and got luca's poo all over my hand. hahaha... he rubbed his hands on my hand, and he had had his hands down his pants. It was just wonderful. hahahaha. oh and I got paid yesterday! It was wonderful. Altho they take out way to much money for taxes.... Im not even going to see any of that social security money.. so why do I have to pay for it? soo annoying.

Last night I hung out with vikki. It was soo much fun! I needed to get out of my house, and be with someone my own age. haha. We went to El Parrell. It was not the best, but it was still good. I just probably will not go there again. Then we went back to her house and stalked people from our elementary school on fb. haha some of those kids have gotten hot. I dont understand it... and we stalked some people from middle school that were kinda nerdy.. yeah they're hot now too. haha soo funny. but it was entertaining to see all these kids that I hadn't seen since 5th grade. haha. Then we skyped with eric. which was entertaining.... because me and him fight over the stupidest things. hahahaha. I also apparently was a little sleep deprived last night because I was not making sense when we were talking to him on fb chat. haha... i typed some pretty stupid stuff. oh well. I really loved hanging out with her tho. I will have to do that again soon. haha

This month is february. That means only two and a half more months until school starts! woo hoo!!!! I cannot wait to get back up to school. I do not have any idea when I will be going up to school. but hopefully I will be able to figure that out soon. oh and guess what??? Today is exactly two months until I turn 19. haha Im soo excited to not be 18 anymore.... well anyways... I miss Danielle a ton. As I always do. haha. It has been a lot harder because since I have worked all week I haven't been able to text her as much. soo sad:( I wish I would have been able to go to california in january like I had planned. But things happen. So it will be even greater when I see her again in april. I cannot wait! its going to be amazing!!!! Lots of love!