breathing in the air

So my last blog post was a little bit harsh. Im sorry if I offended anyone. I didn't mean to be mean or step on feelings. I've just been so stressed lately. I went from finals, to pack, to cleaning, to moving, to ranch rodeo and pipe changing, to driving home, to work, to more work. I haven't had a serious break since I went with Danielle and her family to Island Park in April. I know me being stressed is a poor excuse for any type of behavior but thats just how it is. My mom said that I was super tense and that I had a bunch of knots in my shoulders.. so she decided to give them a little massage. MORE LIKE BEATING THEM WITH A SLEDGE HAMMER. haha I woke up and they were swollen. I mean I didn't know shoulders could get swollen.. but let me tell you they can. They do feel somewhat better though, so I suppose I should thank my mom for that.

Marriage... hmmm... scary as heck. My dear friend pointed out to me that it is not marriage I hate but it is in fact the dating scene that I hate. To this I will not disagree. It's hard to date because one: I always like the person more then they like me and two: only the creeps date me and then I am stuck with some stalker for the rest of my life:) I do have to say one thing though.. I am not excited for the fighting that comes along with marriage. I mean my dad says something about eating noodles for lunch and now we are having them for dinner. and he says it in an annoyed tone and my mom and him started fighting about freaking noodles. I mean for real people. If that is what my life is going to consist of I don't want it. I see how it drains my mom when my dad acts like that (which is a lot) and I know I can't handle that my whole life. I also understand that not every marriage is like that. But the fact that I've only seen dysfunctional marriages makes me very scared. I am afraid that I will be dealing with someone I can't stand for my whole life, and I don't want that. It scares me to death when I think about actually getting married. So yes my last post was a bit harsh but I do have some very legit concerns. And nothing anyone says is going to change my opinion about that. I know it's just gonna have to be one of those things that I find out for myself.... but until then that's all I know, and all I can know. anyways.. sorry if my last post bothered you. It wasn't intended for that.

I finished a whole week of work! I worked in the older infant room and for the past three days I was there at 7am. Not my favorite time to be at work but I got done at 4 so that was a definite plus! I seriously LOVE those kids. If I could take them home with me I would. Tyler's smile just melts all the annoyances of my day. Ethan's chunky cheeks makes me feel really happy. Aaria's hilarious grunting makes me laugh more than I normally do. Vaughn makes me smile because he has the highest scream I have ever heard. Daniel is my little boyfriend, he seriously follows me around everywhere. I have come to love these kids within the past 6 days, and I hope I can continue to work in that room at least off and on because I love them to death! Also Natreece is my absolute hero. She holds that whole entire room together all by herself. I was in her position for a couple days and I don't know how she does it day after day. She's one of my hero's! I love her tons!

I also have been getting on facebook a lot less sense I have been working which has been nice since facebook is for losers anyways. haha seriously no one even gets on anymore. Except for this one guy... who Im not really sure about.. hmmm.. Im definitely VERY confused about this one. He is super attractive, and he always makes me laugh, and he makes me feel really good, but I don't understand anything thats going on. Confusing. As men always are. Enough about that.

I miss my friends a lot! You guys are the ones that hold me up when I am down. Thanks for always being there for me. Erin: You are one of the strongest women I know. You always look for the good in every situation and you always know exactly what to say. You are one of my rocks, and I thank you for that. You are an amazing friend. Danielle: What would I do without you? You know everything about me and still love me. You are always there for me especially when I've had a bad day and just need to explode on someone. You are the best! I love you so much! Eric: I miss your stupid jokes and ridiculous sayings. I can count on you to always be there to listen. Thanks for being one of my best friends! and to everyone else that I didn't mention here: I miss you all and love you all. Thanks for being the greatest friends ever!