I love to see the temple!

The past few days have been a little bit depressing for me. I don't mean to be complaining, I have just had a hard time. I've been having a difficult time with my self worth, and with things pertaining to me. Such as boys. I know thats a really stupid thing to be having a hard time about but I just couldn't seem to grasp my mind around what I am supposed to be doing right now. I know I do not want to get married now, but for some reason I thought I should be dating as many guys as I can. That has not turned out the way I wanted it to. There has been more than one disappointment when it comes to guys the past few days.

Anyways, so I have just been feeling really down on myself and I suppose feeling a bit sorry for myself and Erin came over. She suggested that we go on a walk. and I LOVE walking when I am upset. It helps me clear my head. I have probably walked 6 miles just around campus in the past week and a half. anyways, so we started walking, and it was raining but not pouring.. but in Rexburg rain doesn't stop anyone from doing anything! So we walked up to the temple and around the temple and then down into campus. and I was being such a big baby. Mostly complaining about boys and about my biggest insecurity. (which for all of you who dont know is how I look. I know it sounds super vain, but I felt that I wasn't pretty. which is obviously why boys don't like me)

I'm sure Erin had just heard about enough out of me when she suggested we walk back towards the temple. (by this time we had been outside for about 2 hours, and it was pouring rain and we were soaked!) anyways, we got back to the temple and Erin suggested that we just stand their for a couple of minutes in silence and just look at the temple. I am going to admit that I thought it was a weird thing to do, but I love the temple and I love Erin so I figured why not.

I honestly was not really looking for any answers or hoping for some big thing.... but the most amazing thing happened! it was like a big gentle punch on my shoulder! A LIGHT CAME ON!! I have never once had that feeling in my life! I literally stood there in the pouring rain bawling like a little baby as things were revealed to me! That has never happened to me before, but it was the most amazing feeling I have ever experienced!!! Its been about 4 hours and I still feel just as amazing as I did when it happened!

Long story short, I know Heavenly Father has a plan for me, and I don't need to be pushing anything right now. I just need to sit back and let what happens happens. and as for the looks... I am a child of my Heavenly Father. He doesn't ever create anything that isn't beautiful.

I am just too excited about figuring these things out for myself! Such a wonderful feeling! Thanks for reading this! It means a lot! I miss you all!