Some serious soul searching

Thought for the day: I could be married in a year.

I was talking to a friend about going on a mission, (since he just got his call) and I decided that I would love to serve a mission. BUT I am not the girl who goes on a mission because she absolutely wants to. I would be the girl that would love to go on a mission but goes because no guy wanted to marry her. I turn 20 in less than two months which gives me a year and less than two months to either find someone to marry or prepare to go on a mission. Scary scary scary thought. Im not even ready for marriage. I think in order to know someone enough to marry them you need to know yourself and I can honestly say I don't know who I am. I mean I know my name, my DOB, my major, and my hobbies, but when it comes down to it I can't tell you who I am. I have been doing A LOT of soul searching these past few weeks because I feel that I need to know who I am before the spring semester starts. Granted that gives me about two months, and not many people are able to find themselves in that amount of time, but I think I can do it.

I am a nanny for four hours a day and part of my job is to walk to dog for about an hour. It has been a really amazing experience. It's almost like I've been in my own little word being taught by a master teacher. I have learned more things about myself in these last couple of days then I have in a while. It's nice to have time to ponder. I realized that I really am happy. What reason is there for me not to be? Life is so dang freaking short that if I mope around all day about something that wont matter in an eternal aspect then I am loosing out on great opportunities. Im also worried about losing friendships. It scares me that people I love, I could loose because of how I act. That's not me and I want to prove it to myself. Of course I want to change for them too but mostly because I shouldn't make others miserable. Honestly go walk a dog and see what you learn:)

Anyways, I found these quotes and I LOVE them.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, "Always do what you are afraid to do."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore,
is not an act but a habit.
Aristotle

We are still masters of our fate.
We are still captains of our souls.
Winston Churchill

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
Helen Keller

There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you.
David Burns

Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances.
Benjamin Franklin

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent

Eleanor Roosevelt.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.
- Ambrose Redmoon

The most important of life's battles is the one we fight daily in the silent chambers of the soul.
- David O. McKay

There is nothing as remarkable as learning how to think better.

- Anonymous

Are you fit company for the person you wish to become?
- Anonymous

A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.

~Jean de La Fontaine

God hides things by putting them all around us.

~Author Unknown

These are just a few quotes that I have found and I love them. I also have been asking myself the question: If you were someone else would you be friends with you?

and I can honestly say that I don't know if I would be friends with myself. That's what scares me about my friends. I just can't loose them because they mean so much to me. I've got to be the kind of person I want as a friend. Until I can truly answer that question with a firm yes I will keep searching for who I am and who I need to be.